The Power of Vulnerability: How Authenticity Strengthens Relationships

What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerable? According to the dictionary, it means being prone to physical or emotional hurt, being disadvantaged, or being susceptible to danger or harm. It describes a sensitive position where one can be easily taken advantage of by those they confide in. So, how can such a state of weakness become a stepping stone in human relationships?

Being open and vulnerable was something I found incredibly difficult to do from a young age. I remember my early teenage years, when I had a group of friends (neighbors) I would hang out with at our apartment complex during school breaks. Most of them came from wealthy families and attended international schools. I almost always felt out of place but still tried to fit in. I couldn’t join their conversations because they often revolved around topics I either wasn’t interested in or didn’t understand.

There was one friend, Aisha, whom I felt particularly close to because we shared a common obsession: Hannah Montana. Beyond her, I felt uneasy around the other kids in the block. I yearned for genuine relationships, but it felt like an insurmountable task.

School was a little better. I had a number of friends with whom I got along well, but outside of school, we rarely spoke. I didn’t have a close friend I could share my secrets with without hesitation. When my family moved out of the apartment complex to our new home near a farm, it was a relief. I finally had my own space, free from the pressure to fit in.

When I entered high school, I focused mainly on my studies but still made some good connections. Everything changed, however, when I was accepted to the African Leadership Academy (ALA) in South Africa after finishing secondary school. At ALA, my perspective on friendship and vulnerability completely shifted. Whether it was the change of environment or the culture of fostering a close-knit community, I found the courage to open my heart and trust others. For the first time, I expressed things I would have never dared to share before. Of course, I only opened up to friends I deeply trusted, but doing so felt incredibly freeing. Sharing my burdens lightened them, and thankfully, my friends kept my secrets safe.

Through vulnerability, I learned what true friendship is all about—laughing together, crying together, reasoning together. I also realized that when you open your heart to others, they often open theirs to you. By being unafraid to show your weaknesses and ask for another perspective, you learn and grow more than you would by keeping everything to yourself. While opening up doesn’t always bring immediate solutions to struggles, it equips you with the boldness to face them. Looking back, I know I wouldn’t have powered through tough times at ALA without the bravery to let others in.

When forming new relationships, it takes time to understand the people we meet—their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. As we grow comfortable enough to open up, we start exposing parts of ourselves that may evoke negative emotions, such as shame, guilt, or anger. It’s tempting to hide these aspects to feel “safe,” but when we are met with empathy and understanding, trust begins to form. True companionship blossoms when we are willing to confront the less polished sides of ourselves and others without judgment or criticism. The more we trust, the more freely we can share.

However, let’s be honest—nobody is perfect. There are moments of conflict when we might use someone’s vulnerabilities against them to defend ourselves. This toxic habit can easily break the trust that took so much effort to build. Although forgiveness may help repair the relationship, rebuilding trust takes time.

This is to say that vulnerability comes with both costs and responsibilities. But we shouldn’t avoid it out of fear of pain. Instead, we should embrace it as a way to be true to ourselves and the people we care about. Be wise and discover the beauty of using vulnerability to build healthy, meaningful relationships.